Post Reunion-Okay, I Was Wrong

My name is Carol and I attended my high school reunion.

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Photo by Mark A. Peterson, Design by Ginny Stein

I wrote about having mixed feelings about attending my reunion.  (Three Scary Words) My feet turned colder and colder as the date approached. I was convinced that I had been possessed and that was the explanation for my signing up to attend. I was really trying to figure out how I was going to get out of going.

On the Thursday before the reunion,  I came to a realization. Are you wondering what could have transformed my attitude? I thought about how I have a great life. I have family and friends who love me.  They will be there whether or not I go to the reunion. They could really care less about the reunion except that they want me to be happy. So, if you have that, what could happen at the reunion that could make a difference in your life? Nothing.

So I decided that I could go and have fun.  If it wasn’t fun well, I tried.  No harm, no foul.

So, on Friday afternoon, I set off to pick up my best friend from high school. We had not seen each other in 28 years. That is a long time.  As I was driving to meet her, I wondered how it was going to go. The minute I saw her, I knew it would be fine.  It seems trite to say, but the years floated away. While I could not have told you this before, we must have been friends because we could appreciate each other’s sense of humor.  The only surprise at first is that she stinks as a navigator. It didn’t really matter too much, we figured it out. We spent part of Friday afternoon going around our old hometown and looking at all the changes. And laughing.

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I think when you go back to your hometown,  you expect to see people you knew. We tried but we did not see anyone we knew. It didn’t stop us from looking at people and wondering if we knew them.

The first event of the weekend was a casual get together at a local bar.(I swear there weren’t bars in town when we were living there…) There were several people we knew outside the bar so the reunion started right there on the street. And it went well.

Because I am good at making mistakes with people, I did make a mistake that night. I had invited a friend that I have not seen in a long time and who did not graduate with us (he was a year younger) to come so we could see each other. So, I was watching the door. A guy walked into the party and I had an inner debate about whether it was my old friend. First of all, before you judge this, I had not seen him in years – like more years than I would like to admit to – and people change.  Anyway, the guy gave me a big smile so I went up to him. A huge hug came next. Then he opened his mouth and I knew it was the wrong guy. Okay, so what do I do next? I don’t know who this mad hugger guy is and I am standing there. Almost with my mouth open but not quite. Luckily, someone else did know who he was and was thrilled to see him. I stepped away gracefully to allow them to greet each other. (If you know me at all, that is a lie. I got out of there as fast as possible and went far away.)

I did find something out about myself at the reunion. I am not a good mingler. I more or less stayed in one spot and let the crowd move past me.  Unfortunately, that doesn’t really work.  I didn’t do it on purpose. It wasn’t until I didn’t get to talk to several people because they were on the other side of the room that I noticed my shortcoming. Not in time to fix it but I figured out that it was a skill missing from my life.

On day two of reunion weekend, we started off going to the parade.  My hometown has parades. I don’t know if they still have as many as they used to but there is a homecoming parade. My friend and I sat on a ledge and watched and clapped. My reunion class had a float. Most of our classmates were on the float. We cheered them on.

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We then met two women for lunch that we had gone to grade school and high school with that were not attending the reunion. (Chickens!) We had a long laugh filled lunch. Then off to the big event -the reunion dinner.

The evening was a lot of fun. Once again my lack of mingling skills was a hindrance in seeing everyone but I did have some great conversations and laughs. There were some people that I really wanted to say hello to but never got to them. I feel bad about that.

My general impressions of the evening? It was fun.  As apparent as it might be to everyone, it was the people that I had gone to grade school (Catholic school grades 1-8) and high school with that were really special. Not to diminish the others that I was happy to see and talk to but those long time classmates were a special treat.  Were there some people that I thought were snotty? Yes. Do I care? No. The people that I saw and talked to were so good, so much fun, that it didn’t matter about the others.

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Would I go again? Yes, without a doubt. It was fun. It was great to see how people were doing and how their lives have worked out. Are you debating about going to your reunion? I would suggest that you can do it and have fun. You may find that your classmates are more interesting than they were when they were young. After all, you are!

Thanks for reading!

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My Morning Pages – an Important Start

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Ready to start the day.

 

I think of myself as being a bit inconsistent. While I would like to “always” do something or the other, I don’t. I can try but I just don’t usually find consistency that interesting. Knowing this about myself has stopped me from doing some things. For example, I have never dyed my hair. I knew that I would not keep it up.

After having said that, I have found a consistent morning routine that has helped my productivity. 

Each morning, I try to go for what I call the “trifecta”. The trifecta consists of doing my knee exercises, saying some prayers, and writing my morning pages. 

Morning pages are a concept from author Julia Cameron. She explains the process in her book, The Artist Way.  The basic thought is that you should start the day writing in long hand for three pages.

Why do I do it? I have found that by writing the pages, I find some focus for the day. I make lists of things that I need to do or want to do and I try and catch some random thoughts that float by. Sometimes during the day, I will refer back to that day’s pages to see if I am doing what I thought I needed to do that day. 

I think that Ms Cameron found that stories would surprise her on her pages. I would not say that I get surprised that way often. It is more the process of finding out what I am thinking about  for the coming day. Do I have a lot to say? Sometimes I have NOTHING to say. Really. There are times that I sit and write about how I can’t believe that I still have two pages to write and can’t come up with anything. Sometimes my mind is just that blank. 

Finishing my pages or better yet my “trifecta” starts the day off with an accomplishment. It gives me a boost to go in to work. I am also ready to work because I have gone through what needs to be done that day.    

Now that I have been doing them for the last year, I can see their value. It is a great focusing tool. It gets you thinking and writing. I think that the benefit of doing it in longhand is not worrying about correcting your spelling or punctuation. As I type this, I see all sorts of red, green, and blue marks on the page. With the pages, I don’t worry about spelling or punctuation. I just write without the thought that I have to go back and edit. The pages get words rolling around in my head. It frees up space for my mind to roam over a variety of topics because I can generally see what I have to do and then can move on in my thoughts.

I try very hard to write before I check out my email or social media. It doesn’t often work (see inconsistent comments above) but I think it does work better if I start off without checking the computer.    

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I don’t save my pages. They are not something of interest for anyone but myself. And to be honest, they are a bit illegible. There are not great thoughts about my life or my friends. It is not a journal. I don’t talk about people (to make it juicy enough to want to read) or things I have done. It could just be called a mind dump. It clears it out and lets me start fresh. 

When I started, I bought a pack of a dozen legal pads to use. I don’t need anything fancy and because I throw them away, I don’t want to feel guilty throwing away something nice. Just a pen and the pad are all I need. It is easy to pack when I am out of town. (but much harder to execute when not in my own place.)

While I think that part of the original intent by Ms. Cameron was to help artists to “unblock”, I think it is a useful tool for everyone. I think that by doing a morning “mind sweep” that your day can start out on track and you can be ready for what needs to be done that day. 

Thanks for reading!

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I have fallen in love with this rose so I am sharing it with you.

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Three Scary Words

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The leaves have started to turn – fall is in the air

I hate to bring this up but it happens to almost all of us at some point. Those three words that strung together bring back the memories that you try to suppress.

The bad hair

The most awkward moments

The people that may have tormented you the most in your life

I hate to even utter them but if you are ready, here goes.

High

School

Reunion

There I have said it.  Why, why would I bring this up? Well, it is that time of year. The time to celebrate Homecoming at schools across the country.  Time for those schools to welcome back the illustrious and not so illustrious alums. Football, pom pom mums, and taffy apples are the order of the day.

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The Scream by Edvard Munch

I have bought my reunion ticket and made the hotel reservation. I am now wondering what ever came over me. How could I have done this to myself?  What stage of masochism must this have aroused in me?

ALL my insecurities are on high alert. You know the ones that you can keep hidden away from your day to day life. I don’t know if it is better if no one knows who I am or if they do. If they do, will they talk to me? And, what on earth will I have to say to them?  (I am really good at having nothing to say.) What if I talk too much? (This is a bit less likely but you never know.)

What on God’s green earth will I wear? Let’s face it; I do not look like I looked in high school. I wasn’t happy then but would gladly switch to it now. So, will there be withering judgments? Distain?  Will I be forced to hide in the bathroom?  (Okay, I will have my own hotel room and I can go read but still not really why I am there.)

I think that everyone feels the same way.  It has been long enough since we graduated that everyone should have been tossed around a bit. Life is good at that. So you would think that some equalization has taken place.

When my daughter was going through the slings and arrows of high school, one of the things that became clear to me and I tried to impart to her was that while she thought that the other girls were thinking about her, they weren’t. They were too busy thinking about themselves and their own insecurities. I think that is the case here also. I am not the only one apprehensive that they have signed up for this. I am not the only one thinking that they have nothing to wear (I have some jeans that I like but I don’t think I can wear them – drat!).Most of all that night, most of the attendees will be concerned about themselves.

So, in my sane moments (few and far between) I know that it will be interesting. It will be great to see people that I haven’t seen for a long time and connect and find out about their lives. Through Facebook, I have reconnected with people from high school and it has been fine.  I have been touched by some of them and their stories.

Okay, I have a happy story. Jeff and I went to grade school and high school together.  This isn’t very nice but he was just a dufus. He was a big gangly kid who didn’t do well in school. I would not be surprised if I was not always nice to him. When I started connecting with people on Facebook, I thought about him. I felt bad. He was a nice guy just trying as hard as the rest of us to get through. I found him one day. I contacted him and two other classmates and we met for lunch. He has done very well for himself. I could not be happier. He deserved to have a better time than we probably gave to him in school. I think he is just one of those people who was very genuine and we could not appreciate it when we were young. He was so happy to be at the lunch and reconnect.

That story makes me happy and is what I would hope for from the reunion. I want people to have had good things happen – especially unexpected things that can make you feel happy for them.  So, with my fingers crossed I will attend. If I am unhappy, I can leave. After all, I can go back to my room!

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Thanks for reading!

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Wordless Wednesday (almost)

I went somewhere new today.  I wanted to share parts of it with you.  (How embarrassing – I think I live about a mile from this place and I have never stopped there.)

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Thanks for looking!

By the way, I would hate for you to miss a post on this blog.  Please on the “follow” button on the top right  and you will receive an email whenever there is a post.  Also, you can follow me on twitter – @carolearlycoone 

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Children’s Books that have been Banned or Challenged

 

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Children’s books seem to hold a place near and dear to censor’s hearts. Most books that people try to remove either from libraries or reading lists are because an adult has found the book either sexually explicit or they feel the book has offensive language. I think that sometimes people may be a bit reactionary regarding children’s books. I think that they try and shield their children from their perspective on a story and not a child’s perspective.

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Two books for pre-readers that are frequently on the banned/challenged list are by Maurice Sendak. The first is In the Night Kitchen. The little boy in the book loses his clothes during his dream. There have been objections to his nakedness.  Mr. Sendak’s more famous book, Where the Wild Things Are, is also on the list for its portrayal a disobedient child and the monsters. Mr. Sendak won the Caldecott Medal in 1964 for Where the Wild Things Are and was on the Honor list in 1970 for In the Night Kitchen

I don’t know about your child but I have heard that sometimes, especially little boys, are not as enchanted with reading. Some young readers need a story that they can truly relate to so that they will sit down to read it. Currently there are a series of books that are meant for children to relate to but have been challenged because someone thinks that the books condone mischief and the disrespect of authority. This series received the highest number of challenges during the past year. It is the Captain Underpants series by Dav Pilkey. 

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The top rated banned/challenged books for the period 2000-2009 were (ta da!) the Harry Potter books. You remember those books, the ones that EVERYONE was reading. The books that children could not wait for the next book in the series. The books that there would be parties at the book stores when a new book was published? Yes, those books are on the banned/challenged list. It seems that they were deemed to be too violent and that they promoted Satanism. 

Madeline L’Engle, one of my favorite authors, even makes the list for her book A Wrinkle in Time. It seems that there are various religious groups that have found the book to have offensive language and feel it undermines their religious beliefs. The book won the Newbery Medal in 1963. 

This is a sampling of the notable books on the list of banned/challenged books. Were any of them your favorite books? 

 Thanks for reading!

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