Three Scary Words


The leaves have started to turn – fall is in the air

I hate to bring this up but it happens to almost all of us at some point. Those three words that strung together bring back the memories that you try to suppress.

The bad hair

The most awkward moments

The people that may have tormented you the most in your life

I hate to even utter them but if you are ready, here goes.




There I have said it.  Why, why would I bring this up? Well, it is that time of year. The time to celebrate Homecoming at schools across the country.  Time for those schools to welcome back the illustrious and not so illustrious alums. Football, pom pom mums, and taffy apples are the order of the day.


The Scream by Edvard Munch

I have bought my reunion ticket and made the hotel reservation. I am now wondering what ever came over me. How could I have done this to myself?  What stage of masochism must this have aroused in me?

ALL my insecurities are on high alert. You know the ones that you can keep hidden away from your day to day life. I don’t know if it is better if no one knows who I am or if they do. If they do, will they talk to me? And, what on earth will I have to say to them?  (I am really good at having nothing to say.) What if I talk too much? (This is a bit less likely but you never know.)

What on God’s green earth will I wear? Let’s face it; I do not look like I looked in high school. I wasn’t happy then but would gladly switch to it now. So, will there be withering judgments? Distain?  Will I be forced to hide in the bathroom?  (Okay, I will have my own hotel room and I can go read but still not really why I am there.)

I think that everyone feels the same way.  It has been long enough since we graduated that everyone should have been tossed around a bit. Life is good at that. So you would think that some equalization has taken place.

When my daughter was going through the slings and arrows of high school, one of the things that became clear to me and I tried to impart to her was that while she thought that the other girls were thinking about her, they weren’t. They were too busy thinking about themselves and their own insecurities. I think that is the case here also. I am not the only one apprehensive that they have signed up for this. I am not the only one thinking that they have nothing to wear (I have some jeans that I like but I don’t think I can wear them – drat!).Most of all that night, most of the attendees will be concerned about themselves.

So, in my sane moments (few and far between) I know that it will be interesting. It will be great to see people that I haven’t seen for a long time and connect and find out about their lives. Through Facebook, I have reconnected with people from high school and it has been fine.  I have been touched by some of them and their stories.

Okay, I have a happy story. Jeff and I went to grade school and high school together.  This isn’t very nice but he was just a dufus. He was a big gangly kid who didn’t do well in school. I would not be surprised if I was not always nice to him. When I started connecting with people on Facebook, I thought about him. I felt bad. He was a nice guy just trying as hard as the rest of us to get through. I found him one day. I contacted him and two other classmates and we met for lunch. He has done very well for himself. I could not be happier. He deserved to have a better time than we probably gave to him in school. I think he is just one of those people who was very genuine and we could not appreciate it when we were young. He was so happy to be at the lunch and reconnect.

That story makes me happy and is what I would hope for from the reunion. I want people to have had good things happen – especially unexpected things that can make you feel happy for them.  So, with my fingers crossed I will attend. If I am unhappy, I can leave. After all, I can go back to my room!


Thanks for reading!

About Carol Early Cooney

I love to read. I love to share my thoughts on books and hope to hear what you think also. Looking to see what books I read beyond those I write about? Check out my Goodreads!
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4 Responses to Three Scary Words

  1. You will be great! I can ‘t wait to hear all about it.

  2. Awwww–
    Your being at the reunion will certainly be one of those “good things” for the many others there. You’ve always been one of those kinds of gals, Carol. The kind who makes others happy. So, wear your wonderful smile and enjoy. Your room will be ready for you…after you close the place down!

  3. Mark A. Peterson says:

    Ok, this deserves a reply from someone who drank with you summers during college. I have been to all of my reunions and three of my wife’s. Had a great time at all of them. People either change for the better (good) stay the same (too bad for them) or get worse (making you feel better about whatever inadequacies you might think you have). So just cover up your tattoos, take out the nose ring and don’t worrry about what everyone else is thinking. On second thought, Terri’s right, leave the nose ring in, who cares……

  4. I love that story about you and Jeff. It’s amazing all the craziness that ensues in our younger years (I think we’re all guilty of this). Have a great time reconnecting with others!

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