HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
I want you to know I appreciate that you have taken the time to read this blog. It means a lot to me. Really, I am touched by your generosity. I wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Do you ever have those moments when you think “Hmmm, other people may not think or do things the way I do?” I have had one of those moments. (If you are thinking about that unique snowflake stuff, just cut it out.)
I think people could think that I am abrupt. I don’t mean to be abrupt. It is just when someone says to me, “I have to go”, I think that they have to go. If on the phone, I say “okay, bye.” Sometimes we all need to get off the phone for various reasons. I have come to decided that the phrase “I need to go” means different things to different people. There are two instances that have made me realize this.
The first is my sister. She is a lovely person – a really great gal. Someone you can really count on. There is this one little thing…. If you tell her that you have to get off the phone, she will keep talking. It almost seems that by saying that you have energized the conversation. I am completely perplexed. It is like you have issued a challenge. (Okay for equal billing, I am sure that my siblings would tell you that I will talk on the phone with them for too long. Okay, maybe others besides my siblings would agree.)
The second reason is that, on occasion (DVR it every night), I watch the Craig Ferguson show. He is forever telling people that they need to go, that their time is up. And then he talks to them for 5 more minutes. I would be the horrible guest that when he said, “I’m sorry, our time is up” that I would say “Okay, see ya” and go to walk off stage.
See, I think I could be viewed as abrupt. I don’t really mean to be. (I also think I am coming off a little Rain Man like)
I have also noticed that some people really do have to have the last word. This is a concept that has been in the business (come to think of it, the real) world for years. I now see that this is not only true in person but with electronic exchanges. I find this funny. I can think of at least one friend that will always have the last word. I have just come to expect it. Okay and I might be sick enough to frame my last comment just to make it harder for that person to respond. There is always a response. I have heard someone near and dear to me complain about the situation of when an email exchange takes place and then the last email is received and it just says “Thank you.” (Yet another personality flaw- I tend to laugh when it pisses him off.)
So which side of the fence are you on? Do you tend to be unintentional abrupt like me or are you more in the flexible use of the phrase “I have to go”?
Thanks for reading. I have to go.
Carol Early Cooney 
‘I have to go’ means… goodbye, my attention is needed somewhere else, I have something I need to do, please just say okay and stop talking. I don’t believe ‘I have to go’ should be seen as being offensive or even abrupt. I believe it should be seen as a direct request that deserves respect and the appropriate response. I appreciate when people are abrupt/direct (never have to worry or wonder what they are thinking because they have already told me) and I appreciate when people respect my (abruptness) directness. I have been accused of being abrupt and the accusation does not bother me a bit because, yes, I am being abrupt/direct because I HAVE TO GO.
Or it could also mean, “I have to use the restroom.” **wink** LOL! Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
I am one of those people that does not immediately say goodbye when someone says they have to go. I’m getting better though. I do think adjustments need to be made for individual peeps as you have mentioned.
Oh, I just remembered! I have to go!
Bye!
I’m not so abrupt on the phone, but apparently, I am in real life according to others. So hop in the boat with me, my friend! And Happy Thanksgiving to you!
I’d say that you’re not entirely abrupt. When I’m on the phone and I say, “I have to go,” it’s almost immediately followed by a “Goodbye,” a click, and line noise.
I’m a little kinder in person. “I have to go” is followed by an offer to shake hands and my leaving.
On the whole, I’d say you’re just the right amount of abrupt.
Carol, I don’t imagine you as abrupt, but since you are a business woman, I do imagine you can be direct. I’m direct too, when it comes to business. I learned something from my daughter about getting off the phone. She says, “Well, let me let you go.” So, now I say something similiar. I do find it sad at times that we are always writing (texts, messages, emails) instead of talking on the phone. Seems we are too busy for vocal conversations unless we are face to face.